As of right now I am ahead of the schedule as it pertains to class reading. I am really making an attempt to stay on top of things. I hope this will last. Or I hope I can get a lot done while I'm in this mood so when the drop in mood occurs I won't have to worry. I have to admit that I'm still having ups and downs. But I'm realizing it has more to do with my mood than anything else. In the mornings when I have to get up for class I don't want to go. But as I'm sitting in class or doing my readings I realize I actually enjoy learning about all this stuff. The past few weeks have been a roller coaster of emotion. I feel as if things are leveling off and I hope it stays that way for a little while. Last week I had a mini breakdown and had to go talk to someone at the seminary. All the doubts were still rushing through my head. This week though I don't feel as paralyzed by the notion that I don't quite know what God wants from me yet. I feel as though right now He just wants me to go through this process. Go to my classes, read, learn, listen. Get to know people, chat, chill and listen. Do work at the church, learn, grow and listen. I'm still searching for that end, for that ultimate purpose for which I've been called to seminary for. Is it to be a head pastor, youth pastor, counselor, college ministry guy, etc... But I'm trying to live in the now and listen to what God wants to teach me today. Trust the process that is going on and trust that He is in control. I want to know the who's, the where's, the when's and the why's. Those things will come in time and I'm starting to trust in that more and more. One thing I realized today as I was reading is just how crazy God's love and grace is. I was reading about the flood and the authors of this book said that the God during the flood is not acting as a vengeful God. He is instead more like a grieving parent. I really took that comment to heart. It is just truly amazing and incomprehensible how much He does love us. Amen.

On another note I am running to be a representative on student council. We'll see if I get elected. I also found a bowling league and I will start that tomorrow night. I was really excited when I got the phone call about that today. Keep me in your prayers. Some of you will see me the weekend of Oct 10th...can't wait.