As he spoke, his words performed surgery on my heart and mind. I instinctively fought this intrusion upon my life. The fight didn't last for long and I sat pondering what it was that was required of me? What is it in my life that I need to change? Why do I still feel so empty, yet wanting to give so much? "for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." I've constantly tried to fill this hole with other things. How is it that after so many years, I still struggle with the same things? Why is the approval of others something I yearn after?

Before, during and after every conversation I wonder what was thought about me. Did I sound like an idiot? Did I make the right impression?

I hate this feeling. Make it go away. Wait...don't...I need this.