1 Corinthians 6:11-13

And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God."Everything is permissible for me"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"—but I will not be mastered by anything. "Food for the stomach and the stomach for food"—but God will destroy them both. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.

Last week at our retreat there seemed to be a lot of talk about being free in Christ. The disciplines we discussed were supposed to free us from the things that kept us in bondage. Whether it was our sin, tv, food or anything else. I thought a lot last week about what it was that had a hold over me. It's part of the reason why I was not opposed to getting rid of our tv. Now I sit here and wonder what else has a hold on me. What is in my life that distracts me from living a life that glorifies God? And the next question is, how far do I want to go with this? I could easily fall into the trap of legalism or asceticism. I could also develop a high and mighty attitude about myself. The biggest question I have is am I doing the things I do for the glory of God or to please people? One of the topics covered in my psych eval is that I'm a people pleaser. That is 100% true. I think most who know me would agree with that.

I sit here and things that may have a hold on me come into my head. I say to myself, "maybe I should let that go". Then another voice says "well, what's so and so going to think about that?" People are going to think you're weird or people are going to say that you think you're high and mighty. I ask again, am I doing this for God? For myself? For the admiration from others? Or for the fear of persecution from others? What is the driving force behind my actions?

What is God asking me to change? What clutter exists in my life that I need to get rid of?

That was thought #1.

I listened to a song called "Coming Back Home" by Bebe Winans, Joe and Brian McKnight. I've loved this song for a long time. The lines that stuck out to me tonight were "I thought I had it all figured out, I needed time away to work it out" and "Just to be in your arms is like heaven to me, your love is all that I need". The meaning of the song for me has usually been that after walking away from God, I have come back realizing that God is all I need. Tonight, something different happened. The song made me think of Chicago. The chorus says "I'm coming back home, home, to where love is waiting for me. Been gone much too long, this is where I want to be." For now I know that God wants me here at Western and I'm going to be here through at least May. Beyond that I don't really know what is going to happen. I've met some cool people here, my church is great and God is definitely working in my life. But...