faith

Well, I'm here in Holland now. I've anxiously awaited this time for the past 8 months or so. I wondered what it would all be like. I got here about 2pm on Friday, unloaded my stuff, had lunch with my parents and then they went back to Chicago. I entered my room and started to unpack. I took a break to watch the Cubs game and then returned to my room. Realizing I needed some things for the room and more importantly some food I ventured off to Target. It felt somewhat odd being in that store buying food and items for my apartment. I returned to the place and ate my dinner and then proceeding to unpack and organize some more. I went to hang up the collage Mr. Yamagiwa made for me and at that moment it all hit me. I was away from home, from the place I've been for 27+ years and I started crying. I think all the emotion just had to be let loose. I felt like crap and in that moment I was tempted to repack my things and head back to Chicago. Even now I think there is still a little temptation to do that. I'm definitely homesick but I can't let that stop me from doing this. I know this is what God wants me to do and I have to remain faithful. I won't lie, I am a bit lonely, hopefully that will pass. God has something in store for me here and I can't let fear take a hold of me and make me run away. Its time to find out who I really am and figure out what God's plan for me is. I hope this feeling starts to dissipate a bit because it sucks feeling this way. But I guess without struggle there is no growth. I didn't think it would be this tough emotionally but it is what it is. Please pray for me. Pray that God would give me some peace and understanding in this situation. Pray that I would be bold and remain faithful.